You are my unexpected darkness that tore apart my life
I never knew the anguish you could cause me in ways I could never be prepared for
You attack me from the inside, down to my very cells
There’s 360 reasons for you to attack me
Your poisonous inflammation torments my heart, lung, brain, blood, and soul
The pain you cause me are but invisible to everyone but me
It is cursed with stigma and misconceptions, even though 6 million of us Canadians can relate to my suffering
I still feel you with every breath and every step
You taught me misery through your antagonizing grasp on my soul, my dreams, desires and passions
You made me grieve in ways I never have before
You caused me mental and physical suffering
You forced me to stop working and succumbed my life to poverty
Your grasp also affects my son, my whole reason for moving forward
You forced me to stop dressing the way I liked to, the slightest uncomfortable touch feels like razors on my skin
You forced me to stop dancing, you made me so weak and fearful of falling
You forced me to feel nothing but pain and anguish, I can not escape you
I see no empathy or warnings from you, I’ve had to learn to listen to your hidden red flags
You twist and turn my body, each contortion more painful than the last
You made me afraid to love and others afraid to love me
You make me more susceptible for heart disease
My pain is often ignored because I am a woman, I am young, I do not look in pain
You can not see the illness you torment me with
You make me so cold, inside and out
You make anyone holding me painful yet I yearn for it
You make the things I am passionate about physically and emotionally painful to do
You make me question my self worth and if I am a burden
You make me question myself as a mother, as a woman
Your name is Rheumatoid Arthritis