Why It is Important To Be Protective Of Your Energy When Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned since being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) a decade ago is the importance of protecting my energy. This isn’t just about managing daily activities or counting the “spoons” I have—it’s also about being mindful of the people I allow into my life.
I was reminded of this recently when I ran into my ex at a store. In the past, this encounter would have left me in pieces, possibly trying to rekindle our relationship. However, now I recognize that he was not right for my energy, and I prioritize protecting it. This shift in perspective underscores the importance of being selective about who we allow to occupy our mental and emotional space. Chronic illness is lonely, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that being alone is okay, especially when the other option can make us feel even worse.
Living with a chronic illness like RA or fibromyalgia comes with a limited energy reserve. Simple tasks that once felt insignificant now feel like climbing a mountain, thanks to the chronic fatigue that often accompanies these conditions. While some may label this as being overly sensitive, the reality is that I am navigating life with anxiety and depression, which further drains my energy.
Over the years, I’ve become what some might call selectively antisocial—I prefer to think of it as energy-wise. I’ve learned that being alone is far better than being with people who leave you feeling worse. It’s not about being unfriendly; it’s about survival.
How Others Can Drain You Of Your Energy When Living With Rheumatoid Arthritis
People can be draining in several ways, especially for those managing chronic illnesses like rheumatoid arthritis. Here are some common ways:
- Constant Negativity: Individuals who consistently focus on the negative aspects of life and complain frequently can sap your energy and bring down your mood.
- Passive-Aggressiveness: People who use indirect aggression, such as backhanded compliments or sarcasm, can create an emotionally taxing environment.
- Competitive Attitude: People with a competitive attitude can be draining for those with rheumatoid arthritis because they create unrealistic expectations and add pressure, worsening fatigue and pain. This environment of constant comparison and lack of empathy can lead to emotional exhaustion and interfere with essential self-care.
- Lack of Understanding: Those who don’t understand or respect the limitations and challenges of living with a chronic illness may be dismissive or insensitive, leading to frustration and stress.
- High Demands: Friends or family members who constantly need your time, attention, or assistance without considering your capacity can be exhausting.
- Emotional Dramas: People who create or thrive on drama can increase stress levels and emotional fatigue.
- Judgmental Attitudes: Being around judgmental individuals who criticize or make you feel inadequate can lower your self-esteem and increase anxiety.
- Inconsistent Support: Those who are unreliable or only provide support when it’s convenient for them can be particularly draining, as you can’t depend on them during difficult times.
The Impact of Draining People on Rheumatoid Arthritis
Since becoming chronically ill, I have become fiercely protective of my energy and who I let into my life. It’s crucial to shield ourselves from toxic individuals—those who are consistently negative, passive-aggressive, or simply insensitive to what it’s like to live with a chronic illness. An emotional vampire is someone who drains others emotionally through manipulative, self-centered, or overly critical behavior. Toxic relationships can significantly affect our emotional well-being and exacerbate symptoms of chronic illness. Engaging with negative or unsupportive individuals can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical pain. Recognizing when someone is draining your energy is crucial for maintaining your well-being, especially when living with a chronic illness.
Red Flags Someone Is Draining Your Of Your Limited Energy
- Energy Drain: Limited emotional and physical energy reserves are quickly depleted, increasing fatigue. After interacting with the person, you feel emotionally drained, anxious, or overwhelmed.
- Stress Increase: Adds to existing stress, worsening symptoms like fatigue and pain. You find yourself wanting to avoid their calls, messages, or plans because you know it will leave you feeling drained.
- Mental Health Impact: Can cause anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Your mood significantly shifts for the worse during or after the interaction, leaving you irritated, depressed, or stressed.
- Reduced Support: Strains relationships, lowering the quality of support.
- Hinders Self-Care: Diverts focus from essential self-care practices.
- Negative Focus: The person tends to focus on negative topics, bringing your energy and mood down.
- Lack of Support: You feel unsupported or misunderstood, as the person is more interested in their problems than listening to yours.
- High Demand: The individual constantly needs your attention or help, without considering your limits or reciprocating support.
- Feeling Obligated: You often feel guilty or obligated to interact with them, even when you don’t have the energy.
Practical Strategies to Protect Your Energy
Living with RA means every ounce of energy is precious. I have discovered it is incredibly important to be selective about the people we engage with, we can better manage our symptoms and improve our overall well-being when surrounded by the support we need. It’s not just about physical energy but also about mental and emotional health. Protecting our energy is a vital aspect of living well with a chronic illness.
The people who remain are the ones who understand that some days I can climb mountains, and other days, sending a text feels like too much. They don’t take it personally when I need to cancel plans, and they celebrate my good days without questioning my bad ones.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits to those around you. Let them know what behaviors are unacceptable and be firm in enforcing these boundaries.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Engage with individuals who understand and respect your condition. Positive relationships can provide emotional support and improve your overall well-being.
- Practice Self-Care: Prioritize activities that replenish your energy, such as gentle exercise, meditation, or hobbies you enjoy.
- Learn to Say No: It’s okay to decline invitations or requests that drain your energy. Focus on activities that align with your well-being.
- Listen To Your Gut: I’ve learned to trust my instincts. That gut feeling that tells you when someone is draining your energy? It’s usually right.
- Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or managing your energy, consider seeking support from a mental health professional.
Remember: You’re not being dramatic or overly sensitive by protecting your energy. You’re being smart. In the world of chronic illness, energy isn’t just about getting through the day—it’s about creating a life worth living, even with the limitations RA brings.
Your energy is precious. Guard it fiercely. Spend it wisely. Share it only with those who understand its value.